October 17, 2016 by magicalmothering
Are you saying yes enough??
I am learning and expanding my willingness to say yes. I am actually amazed at how often I am saying no. Sometimes we get stuck in autopilot and forget that we have more choices. It takes thinking though, and sometimes that feels more difficult, but I have to create better communication for myself and the relationship with my children.
Have you noticed how often you say, “no?”
If not just start being mindful of it throughout the day. Throughout the week. Then start saying yes more often, or at least being willing to think about it being a yes.
Some things might never be able to be a yes, for you, but offering your child the option. “Let’s put that on your list of things you want to accomplish, do, be.” You don’t need to decide for them what they are capable of or not.
I love what Sandra Dodd says about saying “Yes!” She tells new parents that they come with a coupon book with 200 “no’s” in it. You have this coupon book for the life of your child. Use it wisely. Saying “No” is reserved for really important, vital things. This is such a simple, doable way to look at saying, “Yes” more often.
The Mundane to Magical Card: Say yes to life. Imagine a life that is filled with wonder, joy and limitless possibilities. Begin with an open heart, an open mind and the willingness to step into the flow. The comfort zone is not a friend, it is a hindrance to awakening. Release the need to be safe, comfortable and reliable. Become free by being willing and open to all possibilities. Say Yes!
Our children are not ours to control or tell what to do all the time. Our children came to us, or we brought them into this world to help them explore, discover and share in their wonder. I feel like through our children we can heal our own inner child, but we have to start saying, “Yes!” We have to start actually experiencing the world instead of pushing off everything. We have to step out of our comfort zone to allow for experiences to change us.
When we say yes to life more often we will end up trying things out that push us and pull us into new directions. These new directions that our life brings us into can lead us even further into new paths. These new paths can lead us into a place we were can truly soar and create our most magical life. But we have to start down a new path, one we have never traveled before. We have to create a space of allowing and saying “Yes!”
Our life can be one of struggle and overwhelm. Always feeling like we have to follow this made up set of rules and being the guardian of those pretend rules. Or we can begin to shift the life we have made to allow the rules to fall away and be present to the moment. When we create a life of “yes” our life feels like their is more room to grow, play and discover. Having a life of “no” will always lead to stagnation, discomfort and having to come up with more rules to cover for the none sense of the original rules we made up.
How will you take the first step to saying “yes” more often?
If you already do say yes, how can you creatively and lovingly help another mom see the potential for more yes’s in her life?
I feel as a magical mother, it is my role to help those around me, by my example to learn new ways of being with their children. We don’t need to teach or tell anyone how to do things differently, we only need to BE that way. Lead by your actions, your BEING, your allowing the world to flow.
I am still working on getting “no” out of my vocabulary, but each time I say “yes” to life, it gets easier and easier. Just start saying yes more often and the no will slowly fade to things that are more vital.
If you want to say “No” and don’t know any other way to say it, just pause. You can always say what you want to happen. If you child is hitting, instead of just saying “no,” say what you want them to do. “Please use your kind or gentle hands when touching me.” We want to speak to empower! We want to give our children the words to grow up saying what they want to happen, speaking their world into existence, instead of just saying “no” to what they don’t want. They will create a magical life by expressing what they do want from life!
3 Steps to saying “Yes” to life and your children!!
Pause before you say “NO” (If you are already practicing this, be mindful how you can be an example to others)
Find a way to put what you want to say into a positive. Say what you want them to do, not what you don’t
Try to think of the word “no” only to be said when absolutely vital! (You have a coupon book of 200 to last their entire lives!)
If you have already used up your 200 “No’s,” I hereby grant you a fresh one. Use it wisely! I am granting myself a new one too! Let’s do this together!
Let’s create more magic in our lives with saying “Yes” to possibilities, “yes” to ourselves and “yes” to our children!
I am so excited to hear about your experience with this!
In Gratitude and an eager “YES!”
Stephanie Mathews is a Magical Mothering Mentor. She helps women create spiritually empowered lives. Living and creating a life they want to be living with more peace, joy and freedom.