May 16, 2017 by magicalmothering
Shifting into happiness
I ended my day off today with a luxuriously warm salt/baking soda bath wearing a bentonite clay mask and allowing myself to create the space for healing and shifting.
When I have a day off, it looks like most of my other days because I always have my kids with me, but my intention is completely different. I read most of the day, dozed off laying in the forest with light rain sprinkles and the warmth of the sunshine on my face. The sun kept peaking out from behind the clouds while my kids were catching lizards. This is my dream life.
Then we got home. I felt like I had to tell them louder and louder to leave each other alone. I yelled when they spilled a whole bowl of rice in the living room, even after I told them to stop for just a moment. Then all went back to peacefulness after I got over the fact that spilled rice is not the end of the world. (Allowing frustration to be in my life and seeing it not as a failure has been a big process for me. I apologized to my kids and life went back to being peaceful and happy.)
I am literally living my dream life, even if every single second is not bliss. Feeling frustration, sadness, confusion, anger and fear all all part of being alive! There are days that I do in fact live the life I have always dreamed of having, but when I forget to notice it, I continue to strive, achieve and try to get somewhere not realizing I am already there. Does that ever happen to you?
I have incorporated ‘days off” in my life. I still cook, clean up, have the kids and do life, but my intention is to be present. Not feel like I have to do something but allow for myself to know that I am worthy of not having to get everything done all the time. I deserve me time. So often as healers, magical women and mothers we forget that we are worthy. Simply because we are alive.
So while I was in the bath I created space to dive into my akashic records. (There are people that give akashic record readings but just like everything we have the ability to access everything from within us.) So I asked to see a record in regards to my feelings of worthiness and money. Themes that I have been diving deeper and deeper into since last year. These are the two aspects that I consistently come up against as I continue to grow and step out of my comfort zone.
I want to share with you the memory that came up. You may interpret it however you want but I will add my insights as well.
There was a man walking down a dirt street in a Roman city. He was very handsome, with dark brown hair and yellow eyes. He was with his daughter who had curly hair and hazel eyes as well. (I realized the man was me and the little girl was my dad.) So while I was walking with her I would throw her up into the air and hear her squeals of laughter. Two Roman soldiers approached me. I put my daughter down and they began to hit me. My daughter began to scream and cry while I was dragged away.
I had the recollection that I collected herbs and healed people as a profession. I made lots of money, was very happy and my family life was wonderful. Those around me were very jealous and did not understand why I got to live a beautiful happy life while they were miserable. I told the guards that I would be happy to share with them my “secret” which was simply that I lived in connection with nature, knew my inner source and loved deeply.
They said that it was too much work to live the way that I did. They didn’t want to give up their lifestyles. They didn’t want to go into nature. They didn’t want to change they just wanted me to stop being a living image of what they didn’t have. And what they thought they could never be. No matter what I did to convince them that they themselves were worthy and could achieve that I have and so much more very simply, they would not listen. They would not hear me. They could not see that they were blocking their own magic with their jealousy, anger and feelings of unworthiness.
My vision ended their but I then got the rest of the record in a feeling. They threw me into the arena with a bear. I would not fight. The bear was not their on his own accord and I would not harm this creature. So I was killed for living out my worthiness, my happiness and my wealth.
We all have past lives or generational themes that we can access to heal in this lifetime. If this is mind blowing to you, that is ok. If this story helps you see that we block the good in this lifetime because we have been beaten, burned, cursed, killed and much more because of the magic we have within then that is all that it is meant to do. (If you don’t believe in past lives, this can also be the burdens that are passed down from generation to generation.)
I lost it all because I felt worthy of being happy, wealthy and connected to God. So in this lifetime I am holding onto that fear. But seeing this akashic record has once again allowed me to release the fear. I will step into my happy, wealthy and peaceful self. I will know that it is not for me to put myself into a place a fear to make everyone around me comfortable. They can grow, transform and become their happy selves or not. But I don’t have to stop shining my light just because it makes others realize that they are not shining theirs.
I almost didn’t share this story because it felt really sacred to me. But I knew that if it helped even one other person it was worth sharing.
Diving deeper with ourselves in a sacred community setting is the whole reason I created the Sacred Circle. If you want to start opening up to what is possible within yourself I would love to have you join us on this journey. If you want more personalized support and help to creating a shift I would love to help you with that as well. I have created the Magical Mothering Method to heal those pieces of yourself that are keeping you stuck in a life that is not as happy, wealthy, and spiritually connected as you dream of or think is not even possible for you!!
You are worthy. You are valuable. You are magical.
Simply because you are alive.
So much love to sweet mama.
Please comment below to let me know your thoughts.