There is a phase during the labor process, usually within a few minutes before the baby comes earth side, that women want to give up. They usually say, “I can’t do it!” And that is the sign to everyone else that they very much are doing it, and are so very close.
Travis and I have been laboring a dream for over 11 years to have an off grid sustainable homestead. I said the words the other day, “This is just too hard. I don’t know if I can keep doing this.”
I felt so defeated. I had just come off a weekend of the worst vending show I have ever done. I was tired. I wanted to retreat. So I looked at beach houses in the Carolinas. Imagined just leaving all the work behind and settling in an already built house. I imagined traveling the county again, not that traveling was easy by any means, but the money was good.
Then I released all of it. I just allowed for the moment to pass and stepped out of the bus to start the day.
Travis and I finished the chicken coop and the chicken yard that day.
A project that has been looming ever since we finished the first chicken coop. We initially built the chicken coop inside of the “Bus Barn” in March of this year. – A 38×19 ft building that we originally built to house the bus but have since started converting into a house for us to move into and out the of the bus. A few months of having the chickens inside of our future house, we realized that an indoor coop was probably not the best idea. So we finally finished the, hopefully, final chicken coop with a nice yard so they are safe from the dogs and predators.
The following day all of us went down to the bottom of the property and dug some clay to finally put some cob, a mixture of clay, sand, and straw, on our inside walls that are currently just earth bags.
Movement has been happening in slow, incremental shifts on the property ever since we moved back in September of 2021. It feels often like wading through molasses instead of floating down a river. Momentum is different while traveling full time. We had all possibilities ahead of us, and when we settled back down, in my own being I closed those possibilities.
I am realizing that only I put barriers on what is possible. I am the only one that creates limitations for myself.
What kinds of limitations are you putting on yourself right now?
So while everything is so close in my own building process to be birthed I will start pushing. The next step in the labor process. I will push myself past what I thought was possible. I will push through my doubts. I will push into a realm of all possibilities. I will push away the nagging thoughts that keep me stagnant. I will push through the realm of disbelief. I will push into my gifts. I will push my most magical life into being. Then I will relish in the delicious satisfaction of birthing something new and wonderful into this physical plane.
And so it is.